Well, the grapevine works

Got a call from Shari today. Your aunt Shari. Or maybe she's your cousin.

Let's see, she's my first cousin, so what does that make her to you? Your second cousin? Your first cousin once removed?

By the time you read this, you'll know that we have that conversation just about any time different members of the family get together, especially ones we don't see that often.

Kind of a tradition. And like most traditions, it's both annoying and comforting at the same time. Someday, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Anyway, so Shari called today, and said that she'd heard from her mother, my Aunt Arlyn.

So what is she to you? Great aunt? Aunt once removed?

Right. I told my mother--Aunt Arlyn's sister--your grandmother--on the 6th and today is the 14th, which means news took eight days to get there.

Shari thinks Aunt Arlyn heard from your grandmother, but when I told your grandmother, she said she thought I ought to tell Aunt Arlyn myself, which I guess means she wasn't going to tell her.

Not that I didn't want to tell her myself, but you're really not very far along yet and we're not supposed to be saying anything to anybody in case you don't make it. So much for keeping a secret, huh?

When I talked to your aunt Helen--my sister--she asked about telling everybody. She figured that not telling everybody would give us a good opportunity to test the grapevine. Apparently, in her experience it took ten days for news to get around that she was pregnant with one of your cousins.

That was what? Seven years ago, at least.

So what does that mean?

1) Communication has improved in the past seven years by 20%
2) This news is 20% bigger (more unexpected is more like it) and therefore deserves priority dissemination
3) Shari is closer to someone who already knows than whoever it was that took 20% longer for information to get to before
4) People are more bored than they were seven years ago and need something to talk about
5) Someone has become 20% more of a blabbermouth than they used to be

I'm sure there are plenty of other possibilities and since your aunt Helen is a scientist, she's a good person to present hypotheses. And she will.

By the way, I know I'm sounding a little dispassionate here. By the time you read this, you'll be a person. But you have to understand that right now, you're kind of more an idea. A life-changing idea. We're still adjusting to the idea that you're coming, but I hope you never get the idea that that means we don't want you to come.